From what feels like a mental health hangover day, or maybe it’s just too god damn cold outside – I have some words for you.
We wake up every single morning and suit up, like a gladiator preparing for battle, and then set off for the day of adventure. Being creatures of habit, we generally enjoy sticking to the routine each day. It brings us comfort and stability, makes us feel good because we’re plenty versed in the actions we carry out, but no matter how planned and scheduled the day may be – there’s always an unknown. Whether it be just a moment, or the length of an entire day. And this unknown has brought some conflict to the party (not the cheap kind either, he went to the south end to get it). The major problem most people find with the unknown is the character itself it brings with it. Much like a friend from a different school showing up at your friends party, except this friend has something. You’ve never seen it, hell, the room even feels different then they’re there! It scares you a bit. You can stumble over at any time, stammer a sentence out while your drink shakes very subtly in your hand – but it’s uncomfortable to even think about. So instead of wandering off into what feels like Narnia, you stick to your spot. Same conversations, same people, same comfort. But then, all of a sudden, this person starts walking up towards you. Your heart races. There’s nothing to do but try to act calm, even though there’s a full on panic party coursing through your body. They move effortlessly through the crowd, the motion alone of them swiftly walking towards you has you jealous, wishing you had such grace. Upon arrival from this strange character, they say nothing. Standing in front of you, staring at you. After what feels like an eternity, they hold out their hand with something you’ve always longed for. Not something anyone would even know you seek, but something worth almost anything. And with great excitement your eyes open wider than they ever have before! You go to swipe it from their hand – but they retreat. After another awkward silence, stuffed with confusion and just the slightest dash of anger, they point at your armour. “You want this? Then take off your armour.” The dilemma stays with you like a high school break up, what do you do!? Your armour, the very suit that you have with you day to day, keeping you safe with your routine is now in jeopardy. The trade off seems a bit much, so you nod the stranger off and return to what you were doing. But now instead of them standing around with others, the character has moved. It sits quietly now in the corner of the room and keeps to itself. Except for every five minutes or so, you hear a whisper. A whisper only loud enough for you to hear – and it’s devastating on how haunting it sounds. “You’re not worthy of the treasure I hold.” And no matter how loud the party gets, how distorted the speakers sound from the noise blaring at full blast, or the constant buzz of laughter and conversation from friends – it’s all you hear. “You’re not worthy of the treasure I hold.”
We’re all victims of it. We trap ourselves within a safe routine that we know WORKS, and works well enough for us. But through our routine, day in and day out – we know there’s something else out there. Something so wonderful and exciting, but equally terrifying. And instead of following something that has the potential to lead to something greater than we’ll ever know – we let the devil inside us hold us down. It fills us with fear, self doubt, and hatred. And the most haunting part about this devil inside us, is that we’ve given it a voice. It wants our armour, and if it can’t get it, it’s going to throw whatever it can at us to chip it away. And when it starts throwing those objects at you, trying to loosen and break the armour you wear – please remember this:
That armour is strong enough for you to wear day in and day out. It’s a part of you and serves you to help battle through all of lifes adventures. But when the devil comes knocking on your door, holding the treasure you so desperately seek – you don’t have to give up your armour for it. Believe in your armour. Use it to start collecting that treasure, rather than trading it in, or letting it be stripped away. Because no matter what that devil throws your way, it doesn’t matter. You can either choose to be afraid of it, take what it says literally and slowly give up your armour. And then eventually you won’t have any armour left – and still no treasure. So use it. Reinforce it, and love it because it’s yours. The devil isn’t going anywhere, anytime soon. But you can take him a drink at the party and try to learn from it, rather than let it destroy you.